If you are struggling with money, it isn't entirely fair to blame your parents for your unhelpful money beliefs (they mean well), but it is probably correct to say that they are the "explanation" for them.
Growing up, most of us are confronted with the "biggest hits" of negative beliefs in money:
"Money doesn't grow on trees."
"We can not afford it."
"The rich cause all the world's problems."
Now imagine going through life and learning that bathing is the root of all evil but desperately wanting to shower. No matter how badly you want to feel clean, you will never scrub because everything in your childhood programming tells you not to do it.
How can we get rich if at our core we believe that wealth is a combination of: a) evil, b) difficult to make, or c) unimportant?
Overcoming the lies that were told to you as an adult is the first step in cleaning up your money file.
Change your thinking, change your bank balance
“Identity is that incredible invisible force that controls your entire life. It is invisible like gravity is invisible, but it controls your whole life. "- Tony Robbins
One of the most powerful forces over us is our identity. Do you identify as someone who is fit and healthy? You will prove it by exercising daily. Do you think you are great at math? Then you pass these tests.
And if you identify yourself as someone who “just isn't good with money,” you'll prove it to yourself time and time again by quitting a good job, spending recklessly, or losing your wallet every few months.
People are incapable of acting contrary to our identity, and our subconscious works tirelessly to make us consistent - for better or for worse.
If you want to get rich, the solution is to change your identity. And that starts with changing your thinking. Here are some questions you can ask in order to do the trick.
1. What negative beliefs do you have about money?
Dig deep for your greatest hits. What do you think about money that is preventing you from having it? Do you have a rich uncle with terrible political views and think that is how all rich people must be?
Money is just a tool, and wealth does not correlate with a person's character or political views.
How can you discover your beliefs about money? Pay close attention to the language you are using. "I can't afford it" is a mantra that turns your brain off. Yes, you can afford it in a future state - you just have to get creative. A healthier substitute belief might be, "How can I afford it?"
2. Why do you make money?
The most common block in making money is feeling like we don't deserve it. We tell ourselves in countless ways that we are not smart, kind, attractive, able, experienced, or empty enough.
Challenge this thinking. Now (yes, now!), Make a list of all the reasons you make money. You could write like me that I make money because I am a kind, ethical man with an abundance of integrity and that the money is used for the good of humanity.
Perhaps you deserved it because you work extra hard or care for a sick loved one, are incredibly intelligent and capable, because you paid your dues - or because everyone deserves wealth and abundance, including you.
3. Who could I become with money?
I had the pleasure of experiencing this formative hour of life that is being broken. I'm grateful for the lessons it taught me, but I would never want to go back.
As a broke person, I was always stressed out, which erased my sense of humor. I stopped seeing friends. In the summer I stopped buying new clothes and having a beer on a terrace, which made me happy. I've lost my confidence and self-esteem and as a result I may not have been able to do a great job.
Learning how to create and grow wealth changed all of that and helped me become a more vibrant, generous, less rigid person - the real me. I like myself a lot more as a wealthy person.
Who would you become without the guillotine of poverty hanging over your head?
4. Who could I help with money?
A single focus on yourself is a good recipe for ending up alone and miserable. The secret to a happy life is to keep contributing. We all want to be useful, and that is because of what we give, not what we get.
Now if you had all the money you want, who could you help? Could You Pay Back Your Parents Mortgage? Are you sending your daughter to the best school in the world? Are you feeling less stressed and a better partner at home? Donate to charity?
Find a reason outside of you to create wealth and the dollars will flow.
5. What has money already given you?
There is a psychological effect called "disqualifying the positive". It occurs when we ignore good experiences and focus only on the bad. People often do this with money: we forget how much that money has already done and done for us, and just see what is missing.
We can counter this by literally counting our blessings. On a piece of paper, write the amazing things you have or have had in your life because of money - your home, car, education, life-saving surgery or medication, vacation, toys, food, or membership Gym. Thank you, money!
When we remember what money can give us, we appreciate it. What if money feels valued? Well, it comes to visit more often.